to feel a lot like it.

i don't want to,
which sounds ridiculous.

i don't want to fall in love.
i can't really stop that from happening,
but it's just not the right time.

it's like setting myself up to
get my heart broken.

but;
i haven't felt so real
and happy in so long.

to laugh appropriately.

it is possible
for things to be simple.

it is possible
to simply be happy.

to start a new year.

this is a big year.
a lot is going to change.
[a lot has already changed.]

fabulous new year's party.

i am taking life easy.
with my grandma's death it's been a little
shaky around the house,
but there is lots of things to keep me focused
on life and how good it is.

i have so many people
who care about me
& love me
and i couldn't ask
for anything more.

new year
that will be the start
of so many new things.

to find some peace.

it's been nice to be so far away.

i've sort of grown into a mind set
of not having to worry about anything
except myself and the family members
that surround me.

i've felt a closer connection with God.
he's been keeping my mind at rest
so that the things that stray my heart from him
don't distract me.

i hope i can keep this closeness.
it truly does keep me level-headed.


tomorrow i get to fly back home
&
i am so excited.
i get to see all my friends and my other family.

this break is going really well and i hope it continues.

to spend four days in alabama.

it's going to blow,
but i had to do what i had to do.

i read the blog my champion ex-boyfriend
wrote about how i was the cause of his "pain"
and i fucking laughed.

it was such a relief.

lately,
all these weights have felt like they've
been lifting from my shoulders.

i'm feeling better with life,
because i'm just letting things go.
it's not worth it.

the beginning of my senior year was
such a joke,
but now i am feeling alive.

infinite moment,
here i come.